In February 1998 I became a Christian. For those unfamiliar with what this means, I have acknowledged my sins and accepted and submitted myself to Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. I believe that Jesus died on the Cross for my sins and, in response, I accepted His rule over my life.
Two years ago if you ask me whether I will ever be a Christian, my answer would be an emphatic "No, never." Looking back, it is amazing how a short period of time have changed my outlook some completely.
You may ask: why do I choose to become a Christian? Isn't that a silly thing to do? Why believe in something supernatural like a God? Bible stories that told of cripple people walking again and dead people coming back to life. Aren't all these 'incredible' (in the sense that it is believable)? Aren't these just stories in the nature of fairy tales? How can you believe in something so unscientific and irrational?
Indeed, before I decided to become a Christian, these are exactly the sort of questions that stop me accepting Jesus. These are some of the questions that I struggle with during the past year or so.
So what make me decide to believe? There are no specific thing or event that cause me to believe. Even the reasons are difficult to state. The decision to believe is neither rational, nor is it entirely irrational. Perhaps, at the end of the day it is just a matter of faith!
One thing I can say in my case is that this is not a faith that came suddenly. It is not a spur of the moment thing that happen, for example, during an evangelistic event. It is not an emotional decision, nor one based on 'fee'. It is not a blind faith, or, a mere leap of faith. It is a faith that emerges through my experience throughout the past year or so.
During the past year or so I was engaged in a conscious and an active process of investigation and introspection. This process also, in a way, form part of the broader experience that led me to God.
If you have read other people's testimony, there is perhaps no more boring and unremarkable experience that mine. Yet, the most special thing about this experience is that, from my perspective, it reveals a strong sense of influence and guidance over my life from an external source- a source that I now come to realise and appreciate as the work of God alone. This is an experience that is not easy to put into words, but nonetheless it is one that I would like to share with those who are interested.
The following testimony, experience or thoughts, or whatever you want to call it, adopt the following structure:
God at Work: Exposure to Christianity
Christianity has never appeal to me. For that matter nor any other religions. Indeed, in the past I saw little difference between Christianity and other religions. (Now I realise how wrong I have been!) After all, are they not all a form of 'religion'? They all share something common: the believe in something(s) supernatural. They all seem to me to have an element of fantasy to it in the sense that they believe in something 'out of this world'.
At the heart of my doubt is my thinking that all religions are unscientific and irrational. This is at odd with my rational and objective nature (at least this is what I think I am, but whether I am actually so is best left to someone else to judge). I have already revere science; I saw it as something that is totally objective and rational. Since I perceive region as irrational and unscientific, the outcome is that I do not believe it.
Only fools, unscientific bigots, dogmatic zealot belief in god(s)! I do not see myself as belonging among such group of people, nor do I want to, so religion is a big NO NO to me. I suppose I saw myself as a person with a scientific mind and because religion, especially its version of creation, is so much at odds with science that it never appeal to me. Well, at least this was my impression of the relation between science and religion back then. A view point that is very shallow and has no real substance to it in retrospect.
Despite my initial feeling towards religions, I have never rule out the possibility that there is a god, or, that the Christian belief is somehow true. In this regard, I was, and still am, a very open-minded person. This quality is very important as it allows me to approach the issues and the facts as neutral and without bias as humanly possible. (As an aside, I think that the limitation of the human mind means that total objectivity is not possible; I can never be sure that I have no preconceived bias in my mind. All I can hope to achieve is to maintain as balanced an approach as I can.)My first exposure to Christianity in the form of its teaching (not just social events like Christmas or Easter) is probably during primary school. I attended a Methodist primary school in Hong Kong. I learnt the Christian teachings through one of the compulsory subject. There is nothing particularly exciting about it. It is no different to any other subject like mathematics, English or Chinese. In other words, I saw it as just another subject to study, some information to memorise! Indeed, it is even more boring that other subjects as there is no real use for what I learnt in class. And I have no doubt the teachings are forgotten as soon as the exam is over (and may be even before that as I was never a good student back then).
That was in Hong Kong. Around Year 5 we migrated to Australia.
During my teenage years I was dragged along to church by my mum. She was not a Christian when we first came to Australia, but she later became one. At that age I have no choice but to go with her, not willingly of course. I attended church services and even went to Sunday school. At no stage did I ever get involve with the religious side; the teachings have never really sunk in. I have not learnt anything from it, except may be a few typical biblical stories along the way. I went because I have to; it is just one of thing we do on a Sunday.
This went on for a few years. Then I stopped going. There are number of reasons for this. The main reason is because Christianity, and religion in general, simply did not interest me. My interest and understanding (which I now realize as limited and naïve) of modern science have put me at odds with the Bible. I could see no basis for the Bible; to me it was unscientific and irrational and that means I would have nothing to do with it.
Further, on the social dimension, there was nothing holding me onto the church. I simply did not quite fit in to the church environment. I did not know why this is the case. May be my dislike of Christianity make it hard to mix in with the rest of the congregations. May be my interests, background is different to the other church goers. May be it is hard to break into the pre-existing social groups that do not seem to welcome 'outsider', or may be it is simply just my anti-social self!
In retrospect, the time is just not right.Years went by. High school has finished, and my university study was almost over.
Ever since I stopped attending church, I have no further exposure to Christianity. No one evangelize to me. The thoughts of Christianity never cross my mind. I maintained the same dislike of religion as before.
Then came September 1996 and the Evangelical Free Church (EFC).
Sometime during that September I, as well as my sister, was invited to attend the English service of the Evangelical Free Church (EFC) at Lindfield by aunt Sally and uncle Dennis and my cousin Ian. Taking up the invitation to go to Church turn out to be the first step in my eventual commitment to God.
Before this September, there have been few other occasions (though not many) where I have been invited to church. Until that time I have rejected all such invitations. So why did I choose to attend church that September? The precise reasons why I chose to go to church that September still elude me now. I can only speculate that partly it was because of the invitation, partly it was to keep my mum happy at that time due to some "problem" in the family, and partly it just "felt like a good time to "check the place out". Perhaps I was also looking for a good laugh listening to the religious type talking about something that is so unbelievable!
One thing that is clear is that I never intend to stay at the church for long. In fact, I have no real intention of going back even the following week. I just want to go there once to please those inviting me and to get them off my back. But strange thing happen: I ended up going back the following week, the next week after than, continuing onto next months and next years, and I am still attending!Although it is not clear why I keep going to church despite my original intention, but I suspect the positive feeling I get when I attend EFC has a lot to do with my decision to keep attending. It is the warmth, loving and genuine atmosphere that is so addictive and inviting. I felt so comfortable being there. I felt welcome rather than isolated. The first time I went there I was totally overwhelmed by the joy, enthusiasm, and friendliness of the people.
This positive and welcoming feeling is a stark contrast to my previous church going experience mentioned above. It is not that the church that I went to in the past is hostile or that the people there are unfriendly. As mentioned above, my dislike of Christianity and my anti-social self may have something to do with it. Anyhow, the point I wish to make is that the "feeling" that I have is very different between EFC and the old church. Perhaps, it is only now that the time is right; in the past perhaps I was simply just not ready.
Many things happen quickly from then on. These all lead towards my eventual conversion.
I stated attending the Sunday English church service on a regular basis. At that stage, the sermons still do not really sink in. I continue to listen and evaluate the sermons against my fundamental dislike of religion. The sermons are however more appealing then the ones I have heard before. The youthful pastor, Elvin Hong, contributed to this. The style is more lively, energetic, with a few occasional humors.
On the first very first day that I attended the English service, I also met Steven Yip. He came across to me to be a person who is very friendly and considerate, the sort that I felt comfortable to talk and relate to. Meeting him turned out to be quite interesting as it is through Steven that I first came to the Elijah Fellowship. Cannot recall when he first invited me to the fellowship cell group meeting; it was either during the first time we met or very soon thereafter that he invited me to the Elijah Fellowship. The Elijah Fellowship is a fellowship for young working adults of the Chinese congregation of EFC.
Thinking back it is also rather strange that I agreed to attend their cell group meeting. I have no idea why I would choose to do something like that! Anyway, attending the cell group I did. And I have been involved with the Elijah Fellowship ever since. Considering that I attended the English service, the fact that I met someone, like Steven, who invited me to the Chinese fellowship is yet another of those amazing development that strike me as perhaps more than mere coincidence.
I am not what you call an extrovert. Mixing with people has never been my strong qualities. Yet I find it comfortable fitting in with the people at the Elijah Fellowship in the sense that I felt accepted as a person. Over time new friendship developed, and I certainly had many fun and enjoyable moment.
Apart from the fun and mere friendship dimension, the exposure to Christianity have also been most helpful in furthering my understanding. Throughout these earlier stage in the fellowship, I was still searching and I had my doubts about Christianity. But the sharing and bible studies during the Cell Groups I have gained additional insights, not just about the biblical knowledge but about the Christian's way of life, both the positives as well as the struggles faced by Christians. This latter aspect is particularly important as I get to experience and observe first hand what it means to be a Christian.
Simultaneously, on another front, I also started doing a number of introductory bible study with Adrian Wong. Adrian another very faithful Christian at the English congregation who is more than eager to evangelize about the Word of God. These studies whilst do not convince me outright and did not eliminate my doubts, but they have no doubt provided me with a good fundamental understanding of what Christianity is all about. They provide me with something to begin my thinking.
I have mentioned here a number of people whom I have encountered during this journey of mine. These are by no mean all the people thathave assisted me. There were also countless number of people at EFC who have given me numerous encouragements along the way. Directly or indirectly, these people all help.
Evangelism is inborn obligation of Christians. The motivation to spread the good news at EFC is also particularly strong. Being a non-Christian at the then smallish English service, I thus became a natural target.
Many have attempted to convert me. Notably is Adrian, as mentioned above, who have spent lots of time going through various studies with me.
Admittedly, with me being the attention of many Christians who attempted to convert me, there is some peer pressure at work. Peer pressure is not used in a derogatory manner to suggest that the force or pressure on me has been excessive. Rather, it is to describe the social force that induces me to accept the belief of the majority (ie. the Christians) just to "get them off my back". As I am by nature very resilient to peer pressure, no one managed to persuade me to convert me at this stage. Indeed, the tendency is that the more forceful someone push me, and more I resist their view.
Anyhow, gradually my attitude changed from: "I don't believe" to "I've some doubts" to "I'm interested in finding out more". At this stage, whilst I am interested to finding out more, there are still many hurdles I need to overcome. (My hurdles are elaborated upon further below.)
I am not the sort that can decide to believe based on a simple emotional response. At this point in time (towards end of 1996), I felt that it is only fair that I look into the matter seriously before deciding whether to believe or not. To believe on blind faith alone is too naive and insufficient for me; and to reject it without investigating the matter objectively and seriously is equally unacceptable.
Either way, this is a very serious decision - more serious and significant than any other decision that I have my or perhaps ever will make. I realize then that if, for some reason, Christianity is the truth and the Christian God/ Jesus is real, then the consequence is very severe. I realize this is a very important decision: one of the biggest in my life. It thus deserve all the considerations that I can give to it.
Consequently, I have begun my journey of investigation.
Perhaps as a legacy of my legal training in university, I maintain an objective and balanced approach towards the sermons and its subject matters. In other words, I am willing to give Christianity the benefit of the doubt and is prepare to fully (to the extent possible/ practical) considers the evidence before I make up my mind concerning my belief.Now, 1997 is where things get interesting. Throughout this period I had the opportunity to do some serious thinking and investigation concerning Christianity, as well as religious belief in general. Before this year, I have never given such matters much thoughts; in fact, I dismiss them straight away and would have nothing to do with religious matters.
By the end of 1996 I have completed all the requirement for my double degree in Commerce and Law at the University of New South Wales, Australia. The usual path is to enter the work force thereafter. Yet strangely I have decided to do a further so called Honours year in accounting. The research aspect to some extent interests me. My lack of desire to commence working life may also have something to do with this decision. Of course, there was no pressing need for me to start working and earn money.
Whatever the reason, that is not important right now. In retrospect, I now tend to think that it may be God's plan after all: if I had not done the honours year than I may not have committed myself to become a Christian. The time, the opportunity to investigate and reflect, and the fellowship with Christians all came together amazingly to turn me into a Christian.A significant road block in believing God is resolved largely because of one Honours class on the philosophy of science. Strange, a single class (and on a subject that is not even examinable at that!) end up having such big impact on me.
Let me go back and explain my thinking up to this point. For a long time I have been troubled by the reliability of the Bible. All my doubts can really be traced back to the reliability of the Bible. I am particularly offended by the circular logic used by people trying to preach to non-Christian. To paraphrase the typical argument: the Bible says this and because it represents the word of God you should listen and abide by it; but if you ask how do I know it is the word of God, the response would be the bible said so. Of course, during the process the person preaching to you will undoubtedly quote from all over the Bible to justify his or her point.
Yes, well, his or her point may have been supported by the Chapters and verses quoted but my concern is: can I rely on the chapters and verses in the first place? To a person who already believe in God, and who had already accepted that the Bible is the world of God, the Bible is certainly to be trusted. However, to a non-Christian it is asking too much (for me anyway) to believe in what the Bible said because the Bible said it is the word of God. In other words, how do I know that the claim that the Bible is the word of God is not itself unreliable.
So I set out to find out about its reliability. In this endeavor I spent time reading other books, particularly the one by Gosh McDowell, Evidence that Demand a Verdict . The case supporting the reliability of the Bible is very convincing. Yet I am still not fully convinced because my cynical mind makes me question whether evidence in that book is one-sided. May be part of me is after some solid proves that the Bible is what it says it is. But then what is this solid prove? Then I started to think: What am I really after? What is sufficient to convince me?
For quite awhile the answer eluded me. Then the answer hit me like an arrow. All at once, I realized I have found the missing link and how misguided my thinking have always been. And at the same time, I was also very delighted.
The event that made me came to this realization is interestingly enough the reading for one of the class for my Accounting Honours course. One of the subject is called Research Methodology and within that subject, one of the class touched upon the philosophy of science. I was doing the reading for this class, reading a book by A F Chalmers called " What is this thing called science? "
As I was reading one of the chapter of this book, one simple point is driven home to me: it is not possible to proof that something is true, but it is possible and much easy to falsify something that is untrue. This is a test of so called falsification: if something cannot be falsified then the chance is that it is most probably true. This is a point that I vaguely realised before, and may even have been mentioned to me by others in less eloquent terms. But until this class, and until this point in time, I was unable too fully appreciate its meaning and apply it to the issue I am cogitating.
With the logic of this way of thinking set in, I began to look at the reliability of the Bible in a different way. Because I am unable to provide, nor aware of, any convincing evidence that opposed the reliability of the Bible, my only conclusion is that it must be reliable. Notice the emphasis is that there are no convincing evidence challenging the reliability of the Bible. There are rumors, suggestions, hypothesis that seek to undermine the reliability of the Bible but they are really no match for the mountain of evidence that suggest otherwise. I will not go into the evidence here; nonetheless, overall, as a historical text, the Bible is as reliable as any historian would have wished and perhaps more.Throughout this year, the thought of Christianity is never very far from me. Even when I am not actively thinking about it, things pop up that reminded me of Christianity.
It is rather uncanny that I have bumped into so many Christians and expose to so many Christians related materials during this time. It is far more than I have been exposed to in the past, at least as far as I can remember. It may be that at times I was actively searching. But the frequency of bombardment by Christians and Christian material were most remarkable. Keep in mind that I have spent around 5 years in university without being expose to evangelism by Christians or any other religions. For those who is familiar with university and the various religious groups around university campus, such as the very active Chinese Christian Fellowship (CCF), you would no doubt appreciate how unusual this is.
I was simply neglected all these years, and then all of a sudden, it all stated to happen. These happen at a time that I am most open to such messages. I also have the time to think. And I have the interest to find out more. The timing was perfect.
One of the most striking experience, if that is the right word, is that it was during the honours year that I met Kamal. He is a very devoted Christian. It is somewhat "weird" that I have not been expose to Christianity during my five years in uni. In all my classes in all the different subjects, no one has brought up the subject to me (at least none that I can remember), and no one has tried to talk to me about the Bible. Yet in this honours year in a class of only a dozen or so honours students, there is this Christian devoted enough to take his time voluntarily to talk to me about the Bible. We even end up studying the Bible together.
What can I say? It is difficult to put this down to pure coincidence alone. When things or events are viewed in isolation, they appear perfectly ordinary and random. There is nothing special about it. However, as soon as one shift the perspective to adopt a broader view, looking at a series of events over a period of time, things or the events are no longer that ordinary and random.
As I thought about these a sudden burst of overwhelming "feeling" came upon me. It made me shuddered in absolute amazement as to what had transpired this year or so. Words alone is not adequate to explain this. The Truth of Christianity suddenly became very real to me.By this time, early in 1997, I was seriously thinking about whether to belief in Jesus. This is the most difficult decision in my life. To some people may be the decision is a leap of faith, and they belief as a result of some 'feeling' during an evangelistic event or as a result of some dramatic experience in their life. For me, my rational mind refused to allow me to believe simply on gut feeling alone. Nor do have I been through a dramatic experience as such, although to me my experience during the 1997 year was nothing short of remarkable.
In addition to the above happenings, one thing 1997 gave me is time. This is why I now considered that the decision to do the honours year in accounting is part of God's plan. Instead of working, which would have taken up most of my time and energy, I have chosen to do further studies without me fully realizing the reason why I chose it in the first place. It just happen.
As it transpired, time was what I needed most. I need the time to do the investigation. And I need the time to cogitate about it all. I need time to understand properly what Christianity is all about. The additional year in study gave me this luxury. Whilst I have to attend university and study as well as to do research for my thesis, but there are still much time available. There were only a few lessons I need to attend each week. Research and thesis writing took time but that process is inherently flexible and I still had a lot of time available to investigate and seriously think about Christianity.
With the time that I have available I was able to reflect back on my life. I realise and appreciate how lucky that I have been compared to most people. I began to see what happen in my life as part of God's plan. Also, I have time to consider how Christianity relates to science and to consider the reliability of the Christian Bible, which were two major stumbling blocks for me.Some of the troubling issues that I thought about during this time:
Towards the end of 1997, and after all this experience and self reflection, I have decided it is time to make a stand: to commit or not a decision needs to be made. Sitting on the fence is most painful.
This last step proves most difficult of all: to admit openly that I believe in what God has done for me and that I am willing to have faith in him.By this stage I am struggling with myself internally. The problem here is that my experience and reflection tell me one thing, that pointed strongly towards the presence of God such that I should believe; my rational, or may be not quite so rational, self still feels some doubts. I am in a very awkward position where sometimes I feel I am ready to believe, or I have believed already, but then sometimes I just do not know!
The question occurs to me: Why is this final choice so hard to make? What is stopping me?
The most troublesome road block concerning science and the reliability of the bible has now been resolved to my satisfaction. Those issues no longer troubled me. So what is it that still have doubts about? The strange thing feel as I still have some doubts, that I am not ready to accept Christ; yet, I cannot identify what these doubts are. I tend to think then, and even more so now, that this resistance is attributable to my stubbornness. Or may be it is just fear; the fear of the unknown.
The strange thing is that it gets to a stage where rationally my only conclusion is that the Bible does represents the word of God, that there is such a God. As part of considering the reliability of the Bible, I came to realize that if the Bible can be relied upon, then the only conclusion from what is contained within it is that it must be divinely inspired. There are simply no other reasonable explanation. Yet, there is this continuing reluctance in me to accept or admit openly to this.
These lingering "doubts" are for awhile holding me back. Strictly perhaps they are not even doubts at all. As mentioned above, my real doubts concerning science and reliability have by now been resolved. Rationally I should have believed. My reluctance to accept this outcome perhaps caused me to attribute this reluctance on some "doubts". These "doubts" are illusory, and are nothing more than gut feeling in nature, and has no real substance to it. It is just a convenient way to refuse to commit myself: it provides an excuse to say 'no' to Christianity.
As it turns out the thing missing is "faith". That is, to cross this final gap requires "faith".
I can state this now with certainty and force, but for a very long time I am unable to work this out. For a long while, I know or feel that I have "doubts" that prevented me from making the commitment to believe but then no matter how hard I try to identify the precise doubt (with many people asking me this question) I cannot name the doubt.
It only after talking to Elvin Hong, a Pastor at EFC, following an investigative workshop meeting early in 1998 that this point of insubstantial doubt is finally brought home to me. At last, this realisation coalesced with my experience and reflection of the past year and I found the strength to make the commitment to believe in God. I have found the faith. Faith is a strange thing: you either have it or you do not.
Let me clarify my understanding of this thing call faith. There are two senses in which this thing or notion can be used. First, in relation to the question as to whether to believe in God, faith can be regarded as a dichotomous notion. In other words, either you have it or you do not, either you believe or you do not. They are mutually exclusive. If you have faith, you believe in God. In this sense, the amount of faith is irrelevant and indeed meaningless. Faith in this sense have a mysterious qualities to it; it is irrational.
The second sense of 'faith' is a more general notion. Contrary to the first sense, here faith adopts a continuous character, whereby it is possible to have a gradation of faith. This is the sense in which faith is used when people talk about their doubts regarding, what I called, the substance of the belief (as oppose to whether they believe in God, which is governed by the first sense of faith). When used in this sense, people refer to situation where they do not have enough faith, or that they cannot trust or rely on it 100%. They lack the certainty to be sure. These people, and I was once like this, want to be absolutely sure; they want absolute proof and conclusive evidence before they are willing to say they have enough faith. Faith, in this sense, is turned into a rational process.
What I now realize is that the faith require to believe is much simpler: when you believe, you believe. It just happens. There is nothing rational about it. Anyway, as mentioned above, 100% proof of something is not possible.
Let me clarify that I am not saying a person need to be irrational to believe in God. Whilst some people just believe, but to other people, thinking and investigation of the issues, like those issues I have struggled with, are very important. Such thinking and investigation and analysis involved a rational process of considering and weighting up all the evidences and arguments.
Yet it comes a time where suddenly you believe. It just happens. Rationality only takes you so far; beyond that requires faith.
See the following:
I have outlined above broadly the factors and events that lead to my believe in God. These are not simply the "reasons" behind my decision to believe in God. Indeed, this decision is not one that can be readily justified by stating the reasons. The above are more like an attempt (an very imperfect attempt) to convey a sense of the "journey" that I have been through in coming to this decision.
As mentioned at the beginning of this exposition, it is not my intention to mount a case for Christianity here. Although if it did make you want to embrace Christianity I feel happy for you.
This said, I do urge you to take some time to at least consider it seriously and objectively.
Ultimately whether a person chooses to believe in God is his or her conscious decision based on faith. To some faith come easily; to others it is harder to grasp. One thing is common however, to get at the faith involves action on the part of the person. If one take no action, nothing will or can happen. Take an everyday analogy. Suppose you want to eat some ice-cream. You need to go and buy the ice-cream, get someone to buy the ice-cream, or make it yourself if you are so inclined. Every option involves action.Likewise, finding faith is an active process:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (Mathew 7: 7-8)
"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3: 20)
If you are uncertain, or full of doubts, you need to find out. If you sit there and do nothing about it, that is where you will stay. For God to come into your life you need to ask and invite him to come.
Having gone through the experience of not knowing God through to finding out about God and gradually getting to know God, I deeply believe it is very true that God will open the door (no matter how tightly locked) and come into your life if only you ask.
You may question this is a bit of circular logic. That is, by asking God to come to our life are we not effectively presupposing that we believed in God already. No, not really. (But of course if you are ready or willing to make such a commitment, then congratulation and go for it.) For those who still have questions about Christianity, what I meant by asking God to come into your life is to give God a fair hearing. Listen, read and find out all you can about this God and Christianity before you decide to rule him out of your life.
It is now December 2003, five years and almost six years since I have decided to become a Christian. I was also baptized earlier this year.
Have I made the right choice to believe in God/ Jesus Christ? Yes. The wonder of what God has done in my life is nothing sort of amazing. This is the best gift of all . Now, the more I think back over my life, the more I am convinced that there is a God and that He is in control.
The decision to believe God is the last, and most difficult, step in a journey of investigation and introspection. At the same time, it is also the first step because the decision to acknowledge and to have faith in God is only the start of a life long process of learning and continuous spiritual growth- the goal is to attain maturity in Christ.
I have not stop looking and thinking about the evidence concerning the reliability of the bible and about the perceived conflict between science and Christianity. I am not setting out to challenge Christianity, nor that I have any serious doubts that I need to resolve. Rather, I just wanted to find out more as what I know concerning these topics are just scratching the surface. There are so much out there and they are all just so interesting.
The intriguing thing is that after all these years, the more I look, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced in the absolute reliability of the bible. Further, there are more and more evidence reconciling science and Christianity; indeed, modern scientific theories and discoveries are very consistent with the Christian worldview.
Having believe in God, life is not smooth sailing from thereon. This is an area where Christianity is different to many (if not all) religion. Christianity do not advocate that believing in God will ease or reduce you problems or burdens. On the contrary, the struggles faced by a Christians may even be more than a non-Christians.
You may say then, why believe in something like this? How stupid?
My response is: yes, there are struggles, and there may be painful times, but there is also a feeling that there is someone there to look after you, to care for you, to love you all the time. The comfort that this gives me are indescribable. I know that I am never alone.
I could almost feel God working throughout my life. Once I have made the decision to believe, sometimes things happen in such a way that it is difficult to explain why except to say that higher forces is at work.
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