Christianity has never appeal to me. For that matter nor any other religions. Indeed, in the past I saw little difference between Christianity and other religions. (Now I realise how wrong I have been!) After all, are they not all a form of ‘religion’? They all share something common: the believe in something(s) supernatural. They all seem to me to have an element of fantasy to it in the sense that they believe in something ‘out of this world’.
At the heart of my doubt is my thinking that all religions are unscientific and irrational. This is at odd with my rational and objective nature (at least this is what I think I am, but whether I am actually so is best left to someone else to judge). I have already revere science; I saw it as something that is totally objective and rational. Since I perceive region as irrational and unscientific, the outcome is that I do not believe it.
Only fools, unscientific bigots, dogmatic zealot belief in god(s)! I do not see myself as belonging among such group of people, nor do I want to, so religion is a big NO NO to me. I suppose I saw myself as a person with a scientific mind and because religion, especially its version of creation, is so much at odds with science that it never appeal to me. Well, at least this was my impression of the relation between science and religion back then. A view point that is very shallow and has no real substance to it in retrospect.
Despite my initial feeling towards religions, I have never rule out the possibility that there is a god, or, that the Christian belief is somehow true. In this regard, I was, and still am, a very open-minded person. This quality is very important as it allows me to approach the issues and the facts as neutral and without bias as humanly possible. (As an aside, I think that the limitation of the human mind means that total objectivity is not possible; I can never be sure that I have no preconceived bias in my mind. All I can hope to achieve is to maintain as balanced an approach as I can.)